so, one more day left of school....im feeling alot better than yesterday. Im tired of the emotional shit. Life is coming and I need to be ready. Im gonna see what colleges I qualify for and fill out applications. Im gonna start saving money from my paychecks to buy my mom's car. Even though its basically mine. Its time....for the life to hit me in the face like a ton of bricks.

Current Mood: scared
Current Music: The Fray - How To Save a Life

so...im sitting here, with 2 more days of school left. Im horribly depressed because I feel like im not close to anyone. I wanted my senior year to be special but it sucked. I just wan't to be happy. I want someone who would love me as much as I love them. I can't believe this is how its going to end. People I thought I would care for and love for the rest of my life seem like they've forgotten about me. I've learned a lesson, dont put your entire life in one person's arms. Im the only person I can trust. I just cant wait to graduate and get the hell out of this place beacuse this place is the reason why im so depressed all the time. Im sure when I get out in the real world I'll meet plenty of new people to help me get through. Well thats it.

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: Atreyu - The Crimson

Prom
well here we go....senior prom night. Im going with two girls, Nikki and Daniela. Im pretty excited because I've never been to prom before. Then next weekend, Grad Night at Disney World. Oh yeah. Well i've been single now for about idk....a month? and im pretty content. 12 more school days and im outta westwood. So im happy about that. Im finally completely over my ex. It feels good to say it too. I can't wait to graduate.

Current Mood: relaxed
Current Music: douches talking.

So...alot has happened since i have posted. I was an idiot and Dated Crystal again....and she broke my heart again. After like 3 days. I have never been this hurt as I have been my senior year. I hate not having someone there for me, ya know? But I kind of like that being alone, you wont get hurt. I think I might have feelings for a person I dated a LONG time ago...but idk. Idk if she still likes me....she told me like a month ago she still loved me but whatever. I dont like how things are going. I hope I never talk to crystal again, I really do. She hurts me when she looks at me, she has that much power over me. Fuck, when will it ever be alright? when? when will I ever me happy again, will I EVER be happy again? who knows. Well I drive now, I drive to work with my mom in the passanger seat but I drive some now, lol. Got a 3.4 GPA, thats pretty good! eh? well we'll see what happens.

well from the looks of things, it looks like me and chelsea are going to break up

omg. I feel so strongly for chelsea, its not even funny. I mean....she makes me want to do everything in my power to make her happy. Last night, she took me to one of her swing dancing things, and she was dancing with everyone(including the guys), but she told me it meant nothing and I believed her. So she started dancing with the first guy and I was a little jealous, im not gonna lie...but then it started to go away. She looked so happy dancing....it made me happy and smile. Then I realized...omg...im sitting here smiling while shes dancing with another guy....im in love. So we were driving back and I asked her a question out of the blue( if you were to give me a 1-10, and 10 meant love, what would u give me), she wouldnt answer lol. I kept begging her to answer so i could tell her that i would give her a 10 but she wouldn't answer. So we pulled up in my driveway and I put my head on her lap and she said "I Think I love you". I was so happy to hear that because thats the same way I felt. I told her and then we explained why we loved each other and they were really "cheesy and corney" stuff, lol. But I loved it and wanted that moment to last forever, i even told her that. Well things have never been better in my life.
I Love ♥Chelsea Marie Cozart♥

well chelsea has been making me feel a little bad about the person I am. She hates how i dont like gays because it is against my religion. Shes picking out the little things and bringing down our relationship when its so wonderful. She says she afraid to be in a relationship, which scares me because that mind end up with her cheating on me. I mean, I try, I try really hard to be the best boyfriend I can be. But obviously Im not good enough for anyone. I need to be perfect and I have the same exact beliefs and everything as them to be even considered. I mean I WAS happy, but now that she seems mad at me for my beliefs, i feel so sad. I had no idea someone I met about a week ago can make me feel bad and want to change the person I am. I really really really(I cant emphasize that word more) like Chelsea. I really do. But If she wants to be with me, which seems like she really really likes me too, them she needs to look pass that stuff. Because who I am is Who I am and I will not change for anybody.

omg.
people say that you cant feel so strongly for a person when you had just met them like 2 days ago. But it looks like I knocked that myth right out of the water. about a year ago i started a relationship that would change my outlook on all of my relationships I would probably ever have. I felt something so strongly for that girl and for some reason.......i broke it off. 4 times. She took me back everytime. every fucking time. But not this time. She finally realized the truth behind that relationship, we fought about everything ,we were wayyyy too jealous, and that was the only relationship where I have got to say that I was the asshole in. The only one. I read this girl that im currently involved with, chelsea's, blog. She wrote something in it saying she doesnt want to get hurt and that she feels something strong for me and she wonders if I feel the same way. I really haven't actually felt this way in about 6 months. I had one relationship that sucked ass and now shes fucking dating my brother. Also, the last 3 or so months of the relationship before sucked also. I feel happiness. I have been depressed for at least half a year and now she's taken it all away. I just hope that the fact that i live one city from her wont take her away from me. I really can't take another heartbreak. Fuck, I hope this works.

03-06-07
Ok, well things have been going well. well, ok. Im over the stuff i have been sad about. Im happy about the things I have. I'm kinda loving life. Even though I lost my wallet with 100 bucks in it, yeah i was sad but i got over it in like 20 minutes. Life isnt all about money and girls, lol even though those are probably the two BEST things in life, haha. Iv'e decided when I graduate I am going to have a full time job and go to IRCC for college. Everything seems like its going well. I will be driving in about 2 months, so im excited for that. A lot that has defined myself has happened in the last couple months. Can I beat out a heartbreak? Can I put myself together and not hurt myself? DO I have friends that can help me through this? yes. I have had one relatiosnhip since crystal but it didnt work out because I didn't feel anything. nothing at all. I love hanging out with my buds, we have had some senior week activities which made everything really fun. All of my friends in one spot :]. Alright, well I guess thats it.

<33333
zachyvolcom

Current Mood: numb
Current Music: Brand New - the boy who blocked his own shot

life isnt always what its planned out to be
well its been a while since ive updated this thing and heres what has happened. Me and crystal are not dating anymore and probably wont ever again. We fought too much and things werent going the way we planned. 3 days after we broke up...she finds another guy. Shes happy now and i WAS miserable. I barely ate, threw up alot, and just cryed myself to sleep almost every night.I kind of gotten over this because its been about a month. I have come to accept it wasnt meant to be. I feel like an outcast sometimes and i dont know why. things just arent the best right now. Probably the worst since i've been in high school. I need something to heal my heart, anything. I just want to be completely over it and move on. I need to move on.

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: none

♥♥
its goin ok. well, pretty damn good. I have a girlfriend(crystal) who I love and I havent found anyone this supportive in my life. My so called "best friend" hates me once again...but I've realized how much of a bad friend he was so I kinda dont give a shit. I have many friends that can stick up for me. I leave in about 4 days to my dads in louisiana for Three weeks...so i'll be posting alot while im at my dads so stay tuned..lol. Kinda have mixed feelings about leaving because I dont wanna leave my gf and well I wanna see MY BLOOD RELATIVES for once...ya know. Im always around my step side and I hate it. Also I wanna get something out there you might have heard...[YES, GREER IS NOT A VIRGIN] ,so there ya go. Alright well i'll ttyl buddies <333333

I FUCKING LOVE...

I FUCKING LOVE CRYSTAL MUTCHLER!<3333

Just wanna get that out there buddies!

Its been a while.....
yeah its beeen a while since ive updated this thing so here it goes. Im dating the most wonderful girl in the world, Crytsal. I've Never been happier. Me and my bro matt are friends again. Everything is going great right now! its awesome! well thats all I have to say.

<3333
zach

4 day weekend mista
yeah well we are going into a 4 day weekend bitch. and well life is going good. Like 2 months ago i used to hate life. But how could i hatelife when im in love and i have a steady job. I love life. I never thought i would say that. my parents have kind of backed off....which is ok,..me and matt murphy are still in a fight and he like despises me for no reason. He cant even give me a good reason for not liking me. So ladies and gentlemen i have an announcment to make....Igive up on him. yes, im done with his shit....we were best friends but im gonna move on. come on 4 day weekend get here all ready!

I fucking love Daniela Martinez.

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: mrs greene voice-fuck no.

Fo Shizzle pizzle
well i havent updated this thing in a while. So life is going good. Me and my girlfriend haven't been better. Im getting good grades! i got a raise at my job. 6.40 to 6.75! ooooright! lifes never been better. Really it hasnt. There was one bad thing that happened this morning, my stepdad was picked up by an ambulance at 1 am this morning becuase he had a alergic reaction, it was horrible. Well hes doin good now, thats all that matters.
Love you all!

<333
zach

It was good...
yeah well we got back from the fair really late last night at like 10:30. I enjoyed the night only because i was with her. I dont really like fair rides too much becuz i get motion sickness. We ate alot..<333 hehe

Current Mood: tired

YAY!
well today me and my girlfriend are going to the fair! yay! im happy. no working for three days. I work to much. Hope today..all goes well.

Current Mood: ecstatic
Current Music: Mrs stanton's voice-which is geh

life has changed around
man life has changed in the past week and its for the good. It feels like me and Daniela have a stronger relationship then our past ones. I feel..this one will be going on for a while. I love her more than anything. Even though I do tell her i love her, i dont tell her I love her more than anythin,g fearing that i will scare her away. Im takin it slow...i really want to take it slow, there is no reason to rush into things, im 16! Also me and my best friend Matt got in a fight recently and well I dont think we are going to fight anymore, his girlfriend asked him if he wanted to hang out with me and he said sure i can come over whenever i want. So yea....life is goin great and its Friday, yay!

<3333
zach

Current Mood: happy

Just got back for texas
well im back in florida....man its good to be back. I saw my bro down there in texas....man he has changed....he has turned into a "man". Hes polite, has manners, very phisically fit...he can run 2.5 miles in 11 minutes! hes bald, lmao. I have been giving this a good thinking. Free clothing, place to live, food, no bills. I thin im gonna "cross into the blue". now I know I know....im not phisicallu fit to join the air force but im gonna work at it! give up 6 weeks of your life and some hair...and well you have got it made. 1,000 bucks a month! wow! my bro is now stationed in Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio, Texas for his tech school. His Tech school will be over in 6 weeks, 5 days from right now. Well thats about all i have to say...buh bye!

<3333
zach

Current Mood: drained
Current Music: HIM-"Killing Loneliness"

Just about to leave
Im gonna leave to texas just wanna say bye to everyone see ya in 5 days!

I love daniela<33333

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: After the Tragedy- "choking on shoelaces"

I FUCKING LOVE CRYSTAL MUTCHLER!<3333

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